More interviews

Sigh. In a few weeks I will be unemployed.
I can't really blame anyone, I had a pretty good career in the NT that I effectively turned my back on, and moved to another state.
I did it for some really good reasons. On top of all the good reasons, It was also time for me to leave, I'd had quite a number of large life-altering things happen to me, and I needed to get out.

All my major life events revolve around death, or falling ing love, I guess that makes me a romantic, or a gothic...I don't know. Falling in love with the wrong people makes me a fool. Perhaps I'm just getting better at it as I go, or maybe I get to have relationships that reflect who I am at the time. Relationships change you. Being together forever is how you hold on to land. These days it may be a Hallmark Card concept. I'm very glad I'm not with who I was with when I was younger. They were great people, but...I needed to move, there were ghosts around every corner.

Anyways, here I am in Brisbane, very close to the end of a contract, with no actual employment yet in sight. My experience in making government policy actually work in a culturally appropriate way is a little hard to sell in a capital city where people really don't understand some of the concepts that are in that job description. So I've had to really break my skills down to a manageable level in order to sell myself.
However, in a city like this you have a city type of public servant.
What's that mean? Silos. I got really used to being able to solve things, to broker solutions, to make a difference. I never really knew how much influence I really had until I walked away.

The are many many more people involved in the public service in a place like Brisbane than needs to be. Way too many. Consequently there is this "siege mentality" that makes it really hard to get information across, or to find the people who have the authority to say yes to things. There are a lot of people who's only job is essentially to be in the way of things. I've had people in one building, working in the same department and section as me, tell me "I can't send that out - it's an internal document." that might be almost understandable - but the document was a list of reports that my team had sent in. I had to remind them I was in fact also "internal".
Consequently it's really hard to get a job in one of these little silos if you aren't already "in the team".
There is much mistrust.

That is not to say that I think everyone in the government is the same. I get quite upset when people start to talk about the Government as "they"...so I can hardly do the same.
I'm on the outside of all of these teams, and sections, so I'm seeing the worst of it all. There are pervasive corporate cultures, and as I don't know what they are - it's easy to step on land mines. Especially ones that are set in an interview process. And Lordy I've been to a lot of interviews recently.
I am the number 2 guy. Based on the feedback I get my resume is very impressive, my interview is great and my referees are very positive. But we've decided to go with Tony who already works with us.
Meh. What can you do?
So I keep applying, and keep trying to "crack" the invisible barrier.
It been a harder process than I ever imagined it would be...it's been very saddening, and my faith in my own abilities has taken a major hit.
Except in my clearer moments...I know I can do all of this stuff, I know I can manage entire sections of Government, and I know I'm good at this sort of thing.

I'm relearning how to interview. Now I have to pitch myself as "really good, but not better than you" when I am interviewing, other wise I can seem like a threat to people. This afternoon I found out, yet again, I was the second in line for a job. The feed back was...essentially I had worked in many challenging areas and they thought that The other persons examples seemed more positive.

There was no talk about the quality of problem solving, or the size of the issues I had undertaken to solve. Just the general feel that I had worked on a lot of negative issues.
I know that my referee had said to them that they used me as a "problem solver" so they should have explained the challenges I had worked on. I was also managing some of the most challenging areas in all of the country. I would have thought that made me a great problem solver, but it seems I should also have at some point toured with the partridge family. Telling me that is was reallllllly a close competition doesn't really help me. It just seems to me that the woman in her early 50's went with...the other woman in her early 50's.Next time I will talk about challenges and experiences I have had with difficult situations...but I will happy it up by 40%.
*sigh*
More applications to do.
Then wine.
Lots of wine.